Houdini (the guinea pig)
Quiet and Sweet
Cute little feet
Black and white
Never fights
Sits in laps
Takes short naps
Scurries around
Working off pounds
Cleaning cages
Chewed up pages,
Nibbled fingers
Smells that linger
Shedding hair
--Everywhere!
Up all night
Til morning light
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,020 Literary Works • 672,734 Reviews
guinea pigs.....why are they called that? They're rodents right?
Yeah, My guinea pig used to be really fat, but now he's really sick with something, so he's really thin. He's hanging in there though!
Aww this was so sweet! i have a guines pig and you described the little furry things wonderfully
i love the lingering smells bit lol, and nibbled pages - my guines pig loves carrots and he needs to lose a few pounds! keep up the good work!
xGraceex
Hi Searria,
As has been said: cute poem. I like your descriptions, and the rhyming captures the simplicity and playfulness of a guinea pig.
I have two issues with the poem:
1. The varying singularity and plurality of the line endings bothers me a bit. (i.e. "around" and "pounds", and "fingers" and "linger") But I don't know how you could change it, unless you talk about several guinea pigs. It's not a big issue, because your rhymes are still well-chosen.
2. The ending feels too abrupt to me. Is there any way you could finish off the poem with another couple of lines or another short verse to summarise how you feel about Houdini or how playful guinea pigs are, or something like that?
I do like the poem, and I have noticed that your poetry has improved in a relatively short amount of time.
Keep writing!
Thanks, I wrote this in school. We're doing a lot of poetry at the moment.
It's nice to know that this poem turned out a lot better than my other one!
Yes! Cute poem. Adorable. I love the rhyming.
Great job.
Cute poem, but really nothing special that grabbed me. It sounded just like a description of a guinea pig, which can easily be written about in prose. Maybe interweave some special story in this poem, or at least use more enticing language. Keep writing!